A Little Fun . . . From Tucson
You know how to pronounce the city name. It is Tu-son, not Tuc-sin.
Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Tucson has its own version of traffic rules…hold on and pray. There is no such th…ing as a dangerous, high-speed chase in Tucson. They all drive like that.
All directions start with, “Go down to Ina Rd.”… Which has no beginning and no end.
The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a “Scenic Drive.”
The morning rush hour is from 7:00 – 10:00 am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 – 7:00 pm. Friday’s rush hour starts Thursday morning.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended and cussed out. When you are the first one off of the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid getting into any cross-traffic’s way.
La Cholla Road and La Canada Road can only be pronounced by a native.
Construction on I-10, River Rd., and near the University of Arizona is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.
If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a defect.
Snowbirds in Cadillac’s have total right-of-way, even if they don’t.
The minimum acceptable speed on I-10 is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy.
The wrought iron on windows in south Tucson is NOT ornamental.
Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, “Keep honking, I’m reloading.” In fact, don’t honk or look at anyone.
If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60-mph zone people are not waving when they go by.
Sunrise Rd/Skyline Dr./Ina Rd. is our daily version of NASCAR (and all the same road by the way).
There are three Magee Rd.’s in Tucson, and in some places, one of them is called Cortaro, try not to be confused.
If you speed in Oro Valley, you WILL get pulled over!
If you are driving and you keep seeing Nico’s Taco Shop, you are not going in circles, there is in fact one on every corner.
There are no freeways running through Tucson, just the I-10 to the West, so always expect about a 45-minute drive to go anywhere.
If you get pulled over by a cop, make sure it is a real cop and not a gang initiation.
Drive 45 minutes South and you will hit the Mexico border…turn around!
The intersection at Oracle and Ina is considered one of the most dangerous intersections in the southwest United States.
If the temperature is less than 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next week.
Campbell is one of those roads that has no beginning and no end. if you drive down it you will come across over 1000 restaurants.
You remember when the suicide lanes were still actually suicide lanes, and you know what times they changed back and forth.
You navigate by a mountain range (ex. the Catalinas for North).
You see Air Force jets more often than you see wild animals.
You know not to leave trash where the javelinas can find it.
You never need to check the weather because it never really changes.
You’ve seen (or put up) Christmas lights on cacti.
You know that there’s no sand in the real desert, just dirt and cacti and some shrubs.
You need to go to Eegees to try the new flavor of the month.
You don’t care what the signs say, the speed limit is 55.
The only place were you get a 4 day weekend for the rodeo, yet you never go.
Tucson has a year-round roller-coaster: Its doing 60 down River Road.
You crack the windows open when you run the swamp cooler.
Sweeping gravel out of your garage onto the driveway…where it belongs.
Temporarily stop playing outside until the storm cloud passes over you.
Those aren’t little black birds flying around at dusk…
There are no sidewalks in your neighborhood.
The weather is BEAUTIFUL…..at 2am.
You are used to one road turning into another without explanation (Grant into Kolb, Tanque Verde into Wilmot, Pantano into Pantano Parkway, Tanque Verde into Redington)
The best parking spots is in the shade, no matter how far away they are from where you’re going.
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